Looking Back

    It’s crazy to think about how much can change in four months.  Four months ago yesterday we were still waiting for children to arrive at the home. Four months ago today, however, the first little baby arrived to be taken care of at Judah Quy.  Less than a week later two more little ones arrived, and we’ve been working with these three since then. Some days are tough and I feel like we're not accomplishing anything, but when I look back over these last four months I see that I couldn't be more wrong!

  Esperanza came to us at 11 months of age and the size of a newborn.  She has since then put on nearly 2 pounds, and greatly improved in health!! She came to us eating less than 40 mL of milk in a sitting, and now is eating baby food and drinking between 60 and 90 mL! Also, that night she first arrived and the first few weeks to follow, she was very stiff, inactive, and quiet. If you were to see her now you would hardly believe she’s the same little girl! She can sit, almost by herself, she’s rolling over, kicking, waving her arms, even when she sleeps she keeps moving around. She’s also gotten to be a loud little chatterbox! She’s smiling and cooing all the time, and her cry is not one you could ignore.  One more thing that’s so different is that she’s no longer having seizures! I remember the first few times she had these attacks we wondered if we weren’t losing her. She stopped breathing and responding to anything and just got blue in the face. It was so scary! After a while her attacks got less severe, where she would continue breathing but just not respond, and recently we got her on a new medicine and I believe it’s been over a month since her last attack! Praise God!

  Then there are my two little boys, Lucas and Diego, who came later on that week. While they didn’t come with any health issues like Esperanza, but they’ve undergone their own types of improvements. The first week was the worst for little Diego. I can still picture the poor little guy, standing pointing at the door just balling wanting to leave! It was a tough adjustment for him.  And for a long time after he just was not a very happy fellow, but lately he’s so much happier, it just makes me smile. Lucas was a little bit quiet when he first came as he adjusted to being here, but overall he didn’t mind so much. But, you can tell that he’s been growing and learning in his time here. Both the boys have improved in their talking, although they’ve still got a long ways to go! They didn’t really speak at all when they arrived, but their vocabulary now contains probably four to six words. It doesn’t sound real impressive, but it sure helps us when they can tell us a little bit of what they want as opposed to pointing and squawking for everything!! They’ve also listen/obey better than when they came (well, Lucas is more of the trouble causing one than Diego, but anyway…).  They’re walking and running with fewer issues and are no longer terrified to climb up and go down the slide by themselves.   I know they both have a long way to go and are far from what’s healthy for kids their age, but on harder days it is nice to look back and see how far they’ve come since getting here. They are growing, they are learning, and most importantly they are being loved and cared for. 

    I’m sure many other things have changed in these last four months, whether they’re things I can’t remember or didn’t even notice to begin with. God is at work here, and there’s no denying it! I’m so blessed to be a part of this. I know God is changing things in me too. And I look forward to being here and seeing God continue the work that He’s started, both in the kids life and my own.

Half Way Through May

     It's hard to believe but just a few days ago marked FOUR MONTHS of me being down here! It's crazy to think of how much time has gone by. Everything is going pretty well at the moment... I was sick starting on Easter for about a week but since then have been healthy. My kids have been sick on and off but for the most part are doing well. I'm not sure when I last updated you how Esperanza was doing, but right now it looks like we're planning on getting her surgery in September when a team comes down from the States that can do it for free (Lord willing of course!). The home has been undergoing a number of changes lately since two of our staff members left, but we're back up to four people again, and today we had an hour long meeting just about team building stuff. I'm really excited to get to know the two new women God has brought here. One girl, Laura, is about six months older than me, and she seems super wonderful. It's nice to have someone around that's my age. You could pray for us as we are all still getting to know each other and trying to form good team skills.  Also my very dear friend Naomi Brandt is down visiting me for three weeks, and I can't tell you what a huge blessing she has been to me!! I don't know if I've ever gotten so little sleep, but oh, I'm enjoying every minute I spend with this girl! It has been absolutely a gift from God, and it was at a perfect time for me. I'm not a big fan of change a lot of the time, so it was a little hard for me with everything going on at the home, but I've been able to breathe a bit easier with Naomi around. It's been great to have some extra help, and I love that someone is getting to know my kids! I have wonderful friends here that visit me on occasion but haven't had lots of time to spend with my kids, so it's great that I will have someone to talk to about them, whether good days or hard days. Also, two weeks ago a team came down from Wisconsin with some people I know- Heather and Kayleen's parents- and I got to spend some time hanging out with them as well. It was so great to just be with people from close to home (all were from Wisconsin) and they included Naomi and me in their group when we were able to join them just as if we had come down with them. It was so much fun.
    Well I feel like this was a rather short and scatterbrained update, but I just wanted to let you all know that everything's still going fairly well down here in Bolivia :)  I would love for you to be praying for me as I continue to adjust to the changes at the home. Also pray for me as Naomi leaves (still a week and five days with her) as that will probably be pretty hard for me. I miss home a lot, so it's gonna be hard for me to see her go and stay behind myself. As far as my kids go you could pray for their health! They've been sick lately with different things, but nothing to horrible. I just know it's not fun for them and I feel bad when they're feeling miserable.
     Thanks so much to all of you! I miss you and would love to hear any random news from home, exciting or not :)

Change (Note: This post has nothing to do with President Obama)

   Have you ever read those jokes about how many of a certain church denomination it takes to change a lightbulb? My favorite one is probably about us Baptists and goes something like this:  How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?  -Change? What do you mean "Change"?!? This stereotype that we don't like change pretty much fits me to a tee, so it’s no surprise that it was a little difficult for me when I found out two of our four staff were leaving and would have to be replaced.  I can’t say that I was really close to either of the ladies that were leaving; the one girl I never really worked with since she was on the opposite 24 hour shift as me. But I got along with them and we all worked pretty well together when we did work at the same time. However, due to some scheduling difficulties they both decided to leave and we were left to find new staff members. Well, praise God, we had one new lady start last Tuesday and another girl is starting this coming Tuesday! We weren’t sure how long it would take to find people who were interested in giving so much time to children, plus have to raise their own finances to be here! But God provided quite quickly, and for that all of us are quite thankful.  There were a few days where there were only two of us to cover all the shifts, which made for a pretty chaotic schedule! Anyways… Change. Yes, it’s been interesting getting to work with a new lady. She has two kids ages 9 and 11, which makes her older than me by a ways, and it’s strange to be training in someone new in that position. Granted, most of the jobs are just being a mom figure, but there are still lots of little questions to be answered and jobs to be shown, and it’s strange when I feel like she must know what she’s doing way better than I do! And it’s just different to have someone that isn’t accustomed to the schedule of meals and medicines and have to walk them through that. The original four of us started out within a week or two of each other and have worked together to build the routine we now have, so it’s odd to have someone that doesn’t just know what to do! I think it will be great, it’s just gonna take a little getting used to all. For everyone. And then this other girl is coming in a few days, and it will be a little adjusting, but I’m excited to get to know these new girls and hopefully learn something from them and just watch God at work here through them and us as a team.
  Right now I’d say the thing that has me most frazzeled is that one of the girls I can’t understand very well. The other ladies that I’ve worked with were very good about speaking slowly when necessary and annunciating or explaining with different words to get their ideas across, but this new lady does not! Haha. So this has been/will be a bit of a challenge for me just till I get used to the way she talks and can understand her better. The other people here understand her fine, so I know it’s me and my poor Spanish, and I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse, but it’ll just take some time to get used to. Hopefully not a lot of time, because it’s hard enough to get used to someone new when they speak your own language, ya know? But it’ll all be alright. I just have to work on my listening skills. Anyways, it should be interesting to see what kind of new group dynamic forms. We also developed a new schedule so I’ll be working more day time hours but have more nights/evenings free, and every once in a while I get to sleep in! Which is very exciting! But also adds to the newness of things. But, it means that I will get to work with everyone on and off, and that’s exciting for me as well. So, while I dislike change in general, I’m am excited to see what the outcomes of this change will be. God has a purpose for it all, I’m sure, so I guess we’ll see!

Community

Wednesdays are one of my favorite days of the week, probably only second to Sunday, because of the weekly SAM (South American Mission) Prayer Meeting. Each Wednesday afternoon a group of missionaries gets together for a time of worship, usually a short lesson, prayer, and supper. I haven't been able to go too often, but when I do I feel like it's quite a treat! Songs and messages in English, hanging out with friends, it's just a good time.
Well tonight was something a little different- celebrating the two boys of the group that are graduating this year. It was fun to hear them share some of their future plans and watch a little slide show of pictures. The most enjoyable part though, I think, was having four different people of the group (I would guess there's around 30 that usually attend) get up and share stories and words of advice to the graduates. I loved the sense of community that I felt with them. Some of their teachers shared, some friends, and the director of the school. I just loved how it was almost like the small town feel I get back home- they're such a tight knit little group. Their kids have grown up together, and they've shared each others burdens for years at this prayer meeting and out on the battle field, whatever their specific "missions" call them to here. I couldn't help but want to be part of such a connected, caring community. I feel somewhat connected to the one here of course, but I've only been here for such a short time- I look forward to having a support team like that some day. Whether it be here or back home in Wisconsin or somewhere else- I feel like our culture screams such an independece that we forget it's good to be interdependent too, sharing each others' lives, through both good times and times of struggle. I admire the family feel they have, and the love they have for one another. I don't want to misrepresent the community of my home church, for example, but I feel like here they just do life together, and I think there's an aspect of that that we miss out on back home. Anyways, it was just very comforting and encouraging to me. It was one of those moments that my heart just felt at home. I like those moments.

Blowing Kisses

     Another long week is coming to a close, and I've learned a number of little lessons.  Last Saturday morning we took one of our little boys, Diego, into the hospital.  He had been running a high fever and hadn't been feeling well most of the week prior, and we found out he didn't actually have dengue like we expected, so we thought it best to take him in and find out just exactly what was causing this. After doing an x-ray the doctor informed us that the bronchitis he had seemed to be getting over had actually turned into pneumonia! Yikes, poor kid! So we started him on what would become a five-day IV treatment and week long stay in the hospital. Since one of the other workers here was sick I ended up staying with him in the hospital for most of his stay, which was interesting to say the least.  First off, I don't wanna say that this kid hates me, but I'm pretty sure of all the workers at the home I'm probably his least favorite. So I felt a little bad for him that I was the one he had to put up with. It didn't hurt my feelings that he didn't particularily want me there at times, but I did feel a little bad on his behalf. Anywho, here was my first lesson- how much easier is it to love those who already love us! I was just shocked again at how I heard God talking to me, this time saying, "Hey, I did this for you, you do it for him. I didn't love you because you were lovable, I loved you despite that fact that you were quite unlovable." I could just see myself in little Diego's place! Praise God He doesn't wait till we're lovable!! Oh my goodness, so many times He's taken care of me when I wanted to turn my back on Him, and so many times I've spit in His face despite the loving Father He is!
     Well fortunately for me as the week progressed Diego became more lovable once he got a little better, with a big improvement in his attitude. And though he was still more than a little tempermental at times, I was able to get him laughing and smiling again, which brought me so much joy I had tears in my eyes.

His second to last night, playing around when he should have been getting to sleep!!

      I have to say though, that the most difficult part of staying at the hospital wasn't that Diego was upset the majority of the time. It wasn't that they didn't give me any food, that I never got any sleep, or that most of the nurses thought I was just plain dumb (though this did drive me pretty crazy!).  The part that was the hardest about being there was not being at the home!! Oh how I missed my little Lucas! Since I stayed most nights in the hospital, even one or two when I wasn't technically scheduled, the only time I was really back at the home was to catch a few hours of sleep. So I would come and go and see my other two kids in passing, enough to say "hola" and "chau" and give a quick hug and kiss, but that was about it.  I couldn't believe how hard that was!! When people leave Lucas often starts crying, which just made it harder for me to go. "I wanna stay with you, but I gotta go to the hospital!!" I'd tell him, but that didn't really help him much, and the last few times I kinda felt a little like crying myself! Anyway, today I finally got to stay home, for the first full day since last Thursday a little over a week ago, and I couldn't have been more happy about it. It was so great to spend the day with my little boy! He helped me hang up laundry, we had a little dance party and he let me spin him around a bit, and it was just fun to sit with him.

     These last few weeks I've been trying to get him to learn to give kisses, and he kinda gets the idea, but instead of putting his lips to your cheek he puts his cheek to your cheek. It's pretty cute, and funny. Anyways, a couple times I blew him kisses, and that he picked up on really quick! Well, after a long week away, today I was thinking just about how much I take for granted and how I get caught up in the busy things that make up much of my life, and how most of those things really don't matter. I don't want to waste all my days worrying about tomorrow- I'd much rather live for today and soak up the moments that are filled with joy. I don't want to look back on life and see all the dishes washed, clothes folded, meetings attended, assignments turned in- I'd much rather look back and remember this little boy blowing kisses.

Random thoughts you probably didn't care to know, but I felt like sharing :)

As I lay in the hamock last night taking a little rest before bed these were a few (few?) things I was thinking about (Sorry I'm so random, sometimes I can't help it...)-
I'm always surprised to finally find out how tired I am. I don't seem to realize it till I fall asleep and nap half the day!
Really? Obama is kicking off his re-election campaign already?
Ha, Bears fan laughing at my Packers jersey... Last time I checked mine's got the Super Bowl trophy pic on it, your's doesn't ;)
Some things just make you smile and laugh. Like the guy that whistled at me today, or the guy that added me on skype with a message saying "holaaaaa guapa", or "hey beautiful" lol. Do you usually get a response to that?
The weather is finally appears to be cooling down... Yay!
Something I really look forward to about marriage (assuming I get married someday) is having someone to cook for :)
I really feel like giving someone a foot rub right now, is that weird?
You know those days where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "hmm, I look good today"? I had one of those today, and it made me happy.
The letters to the Thessalonians are really good! I'm glad I randomly decided to read them.
I'm really glad that I am down here with Heather and Kayleen again. It's so fun to have a place to go hang out on my days off, and it's also fun to reminisce old times with them.
I had a realization today (and I'm not sure why I never thought of this before, but,) the worst part about hell isn't the fact that it's a lake of fire or that there's weeping and gnashing of teeth and all that, but that those people will never ever have a chance to see Jesus as Saviour. They will see Him and experience God's wrath, but they will experience eternity away from Christ, instead of just being in His presence. That's more sad than all the other stuff combined! Never getting a chance to taste His sweet forgiveness and grace and love and mercy.
I can't help but marvel at the fact that God has chosen to reveal Hisself to me. Clearly by no merit of my own, but somehow God saw fit to save me from myself, despite myself, and it is so humbling! I'm so thankful to just know Christ and His love for me. Isn't that what it's really all about?

Please Pray

 

 It was another long day for Esperanza with several doctor visits. Can I just list off all the problems she's got? Aside from the whole in her heart and her cleft lip and pallate (these things we're trying to get surgery for), she currently has bronchitis which we're afraid may turn in to pnuemonia if not given attention (she's trying to cough up the flem but it just won't come out), she's been having seizures with another attack today before going into the doctor- we've had a brain scan done and nothing shows up, she is also having urinary/kidney problems, and for that she's staying in the hospital for 24 hours to have a catheter put in so that they can run some more tests. There are just so many things wrong with this poor child! We've been doing the best we can these last two months to give her the attention she needs- love from us, and medical attention as well, but it seems like everytime we've almost got things figured out, and that we can finally schedule her heart surgery, something else comes up. Before she went into the doctor this evening we sat down as a team and just spent a little time in prayer, and we've come to realize this is all there really is left to do. I don't want to say I think she's going to die, because she's been putting up a good fight for so long, and I know that God can heal her, but for the first time tonight I think it hit me just how grave of a situation we're in. If things aren't handled carefully, she could die. All these things happening to a little baby girl that weighs less than nine pounds, even though she's over a year old. It's just heartbreaking.
  So, would you pray with me? Pray for little Esperanza, that God would heal her? "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6. This is a verse I've kept close at hand lately. I'm so thankful for a God who hears our requests! Thanks so much!